3月30日 — one final update before the next semester (UNFINISHED)
UPDATE: cant believe i never posted this one! its only missing the march part
This marks the end of summer break.
It's been a very wild ride! But honestly this summer break was my most healing one. I've regained my purpose in life, spoken to new people, reconnected with old friends, started living more healthily, etc.
December was all about reconnecting with my interests, my relationship with my hyperfixations is just as complex as friendships or romantic love to me. I got up to date with the helios main story and eitori as well, both of them really good reads. I wish I could read them all again for the first time. I really missed keeping in touch with my interests. During the last semester I got super detached and it affected me a lot both academically and emotionally, so coming back to these media felt like I was home again. I cannot describe the mental peace I reached that month.
There were also bad moments. I left enstars due to a boycott and whenever I think about how easy it was to stop playing and consuming it my heart shrinks. This past year I've already been distancing from enstars gradually due to uni and the general writing team doing a terrible job but i had to draw the line at the end of december when they pulled a very racist plot out of their asses and decided to make big changes to the game around it. Nothing but disappointment, honestly. Today, it marks 3 months since I started boycotting and it's low-key the reason I decided to write all of this. Enstars was such an important piece of media in my life, has been for the past 4 years, and it pains me that I can't enjoy the game nor the stories the same way I used to before. It does bring me joy still, and I keep talking about enstars and the characters to my friends because they're probably never leaving my head, but not consuming the official content, despite having been easier than expected, left me with mixed feelings of nostalgia. I have no intention to stop boycotting and genuinely hope the developers face consequences in the future for all the harm they've done through their writing. I'm staying only with the good things this special interest has brought me in my heart.
Christmas was also a bittersweet memory. Spent the week at a beach house with my paternal relatives. I wouldn't say I hate my father's side of the family but they always find a way to make me feel terrible even if unintentionally and it really pisses me off. I was invited some liquor that it turned out to be spoiled and it ruined my stomach for a few days but my family saw it as alcohol poisoning and were all debating my mental health behind my back? and I'm not talking about my mom or dad, I'm talking about uncles, aunts, cousins. None of them know me well enough to make these assumptions. Had an awful time the whole week and I honestly would never do it again, next time they suggest to do something together like that I'm going to have to come up with an excuse...
January was way better.
Started off the year trying a deadly edible with my best friend and had a bad trip. I genuinely felt like I was going to die because my voice was all shaky and I couldn't breathe well, and my friend had to take care of me the whole night with my parents in the next room so kudos to her. I'm so grateful for her being there that day I was so vulnerable I would rather die than make a scene like that in front of anyone else.
I started going to the gym in January and honestly, it made my life a lot better in general. I feel a lot healthier and alive I cannot stress this enough. It really pains me to admit all this because I feel like I lost against the doctors and all those people who say exercise does wonders to your brain and mental health. It's true. I'm sorry. I'm still going but haven't decided yet what I am gonna do about my uni schedules overlapping with the usual hours I used to go to the gym. The vibe is so friendly at the gym since it opened last November it's still pretty empty compared to all the other ones located in other cities.
My friends and I started a Notion wiki for seiyuus we like and all the media projects they're in + roles and it has been a huge help so far. I haven't updated it in so long but I always go back and revisit it every now and then for looking up the usual names. It's like our shared-project-son-slash-daughter I'm really fond of it.
I hacked my 3DS after so long and it feels like heaven, been playing a lot of Pokemon, Kirby and Tomodachi Life. Really good stuff.
About the animes I've watched in January there's Boueibu, the best anime I've ever watched in my life probably. It's about magical boys and it's very lighthearted and silly until it's not. Really fun. Loveable characters. They are getting a new season next year which is crazy because the anime is from 2015 and the last season was in 2018. There's also the Mahoyaku anime adaptation that was good but at the same time, it made me realize how important the narration factor is. The episodes all felt too short and I constantly felt like they were running out of time. Would 100% recommend reading the story instead. I also finally got to watch Revue Starlight with a friend and woah... Real cinema, like Seriously good. Many things we didn't understand at first but everything made sense in the end. Something about the narrative completely captures you and makes you wanna finish it and see what happens next it was really hard not watching everything in one sitting. Both the movies and the anime were really fucking good. Lastly, there's Ave Mujica, a really painful rollercoaster. I've been watching it every Thursday and the story was really good (again Seriously good) until the last two episodes I think. Maybe it was the episode limit but it didn't have to fall off that badly. It's getting renewed for a new season but until that happens this anime is just a bitter memory in my head. Would suggest just watching until ep11. Handles mental illnesses and disorders surprisingly well for the most part.
February and March were all about friends.
On Feb a friend from Argentina came to visit and I spent a few days together with my bsf and her. We went to a couple of artist alleys, bought tons of fanmerch, showered her with gifts, had a sleepover, etc. There's something about her presence that, despite it being the first time we saw each other, was so nice and friendly. We've been talking through text for four years and when we saw each other in real life it felt like we've seen each other our whole lives. It was really one of the best highlights of this summer, it's been a month since I last saw her and I miss her lots. I hope we can see each other again in the future:)